It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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