And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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