I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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