I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
