Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
