tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
