i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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