I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
