two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
