help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
