YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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