I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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