chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just had sex on a roof
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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