we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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