Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
worst night to have a conscience
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
