I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
