he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
