We're like a lot better than the average bears
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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