I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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