i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
