Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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