I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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