i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
