I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He better not be in your backpack
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
