remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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