I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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