Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
