This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
