Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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