Please, let me fuck your mom
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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