Where are you?
In a non slutty way
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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