Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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