we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
