He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i think i have herpe
just one?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
