i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
