...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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