Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
