Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
