oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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