dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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