i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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