there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
