ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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