okay pat passed out under dana's car
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
