come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
When are your genitals available?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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