when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
