I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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