And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
