just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize