She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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