It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
