sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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