she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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