You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
