Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
