You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
