she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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