I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
