You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
