think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
