you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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