Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
