you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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